Mentoring: A Tool For Success

We believe that every relationship needs a basic ‘tool kit’ to succeed. If couples 1) know the strengths/weaknesses of their marriage; 2) learn to communicate effectively; 3) understand how to resolve conflict; and 4) are truly committed to their partner, marriages will grow and be enriched.

Marriage mentoring* at Eagle Brook links seasoned couples with less experienced couples to enrich the marriage experience, taking marriages from ‘good’ to ‘great.’

A MENTOR IS…
• A brain to pick (imparts knowledge and shares experiences)
• An ear to listen (empathetic and non-judgmental)
• A push in the right direction (encouragement… and occasionally a kick in the pants).

We take you through a 12-week, 7-session program, tackling these topics:

Week 1/Session 1: What mentoring is/isn’t.
Week 2/Session 2: Communication.
Week 3/Session 3: Conflict Resolution.
Week 4/Session 4: Marriage Stages—New love, disappointed love, committed love (taken from Dennis & Barbara Rainey’s book Rekindling the Romance).
Week 6/Session 5: Couple’s Choice (couple selects topic/issue/concern to drill down, diagnose, deal with, improve)
Week 8/Session 6: Couple’s Choice
Week 12/Session 7: Wrap-up (confirm lessons learned and skills developed).

If you would like to be part of marriage mentoring at Eagle Brook (either as a mentor or to be mentored), contact the Grace team at 651.429.9227.

*Eagle Brook recommends professional counseling agencies for marriages in distress. If you would like a referral, call the Grace ministry at 651.429.9227.

We Were Made For Relationships

By Cindy Lannon, Quest 180 Coordinator

Relationships can difficult, or even painful at times to say the least. But, they can also be wonderful. So how do we bridge the gap between those two extremes? We need to look to the expert!

In his book, “The Relationship Principles of Jesus,” Tom Holladay says that “on one side of the gap is the reality of failed marriages, absent parents, rebellious children, disloyal friends, and gossiping churches. On the other side of this gap place the words of Jesus: ‘A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another’ (John 13:34).”

When I look at how big this gap really is, I can easily work myself into a Grand Canyon-sized depression. How is it possible to ever bridge such a distance?

When you’re in trouble you need an expert. If you’re having problems with your kitchen sink, call a plumber; if your car’s transmission is going out, go see a mechanic. What about relationships? Who is the expert? The world’s foremost expert on relationships is Jesus Christ. Just look at the way he related to people. Jesus was great at relationships.

This past winter my husband and I invited four other couples to go through “40 Days of Love,” a 6-week DVD study taught by Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Churck. Each group member had a study guide, and each couple purchased Holladay’s book. I believe that it is safe for me to say that each person in our group thought this was an amazing study.

This book will guide you through six very relevant principles that are each broken down into even more detailed points that are easily understood and very applicable. These principles are:

1. Place the highest value on relationships
2. Love as Jesus loves you
3. Communicate from the heart
4. As you judge, you will be judged
5. The greatest are the servants
6. Treat others as you want them to treat you

At the end of each chapter you will be given a point to ponder, a verse to remember, and a question to consider.

In the weekly DVD viewed as a group, you will complete your study guide as Pastor Warren spends time teaching on one of the principles, and if you’ve seen or listened to him before you know that he speaks truth with grace, and a bit of humor to boot. Our group looked forward to these teachings. Weekly, you will be challenged to do something practical during this study, reaching out to others.

This 40-day journey is designed to bring new health and richness to participants’ marriages, families, friendships, and all the relationships in our lives, producing deeper connections and renewing rocky relationships.

Holladay writes, “God wants us to depend on him for the power to love. So he challenges us to love in a way we can only accomplish through dependence on his power.” Holladay bases these principles on an extensive study of what Jesus lived and taught about relationships and actions towards others.

So gather your friends, commit to six weeks, and learn something new to make your relationships the best they can be!

Summer is Here!

June is here and with it comes wrapping up the school year, graduations, trips out of town and summer sports schedules. Barbara Rainey, wife of Dennis Rainey who heads up Family Life Ministries gives some great advice on managing an effective summer schedule:

“Before summer started, Dennis used to say to me, “Sweetheart, what do you want us to accomplish by the time we finish August and move into the school year?” He knew I was the one who had my finger closest to the pulse of our family’s needs and schedules and would probably have the biggest hand in implementing the answer to his question.

Truly, the pressure to create the right kind of summertime environment in your home falls largely on Mom. Summer should be a time of rest, but it’s also up to us to keep things moving in a way that integrates rest with a measure of purpose.

For me, it meant letting our kids have lots of time to play—building forts in the yard (or in the living room if it was raining), going on hikes, going swimming—anything that didn’t involve wasting a perfectly good day in front of the television. It also meant having some enforced quiet time, when I would read to them or send them to their rooms to spend time alone. I wanted to discipline their hearts to enjoy solitude and to help truly recharge after the fast pace of the school year.

If you’re a mom who puts a lot of emphasis on structure, I’d encourage you to tone your plans back about 50 percent as summer approaches. Take the time to let some air blow into your schedule, and resist the urge to be constantly checking your list for accomplishment.

If you’re more of a free spirit who basically lets both hands off the reins, try to put a little thought into summer on the front end. Set a few goals for the type of activities you’d like to pursue, the relationships you’d like to deepen, the trips you’d like to take. Make this a summer you’ll never forget.”

So what are you planning this summer? How do you manage the schedule so that you and your family can take some time for refreshment?