The Art of Conflict

Lynne Jeffers is the Grace Pastor at the Lino Lakes Campus

There are few people I know who enjoy conflict. Most get a small pit in their stomach when there is any kind of relational friction. My husband and I are experts of dancing around any full blown confrontation with each other (notice I did not say we were expert dancers!) Whether it comes from our childhood or other experiences along the way, we’ve found that when we need to address an issue, we take some time, then tip-toe a bit to test the water (sometimes too carefully) and then work very hard to address an issue respectfully, and in a manner that won’t hurt the other, but will be helpful.

Barbara and Dennis Rainey put it this way, “Spouses can learn to be each other’s best friend by learning the gentle art of confrontation. Blessed is the marriage in which both spouses feel the other is a good friend—one who will listen and then respond, who will understand and who will work through whatever needs to be dealt with.”

In Ephesians 4:15, Paul says, “Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”

It’s also important to lay ground rules prior to a conflict arising. Agree how you may disagree or address it, long before there is a situation.

What can you do this week that will contribute to the “art of gentle confrontation” in your important relationships?